New Proposed Trad Route Grading System - Simon Style

I propose a new trad route grading system inspired by the superior ethical standards of Simon Young - it's called SIMON STYLE or 'SS' for short (no connection to that Nazi paramilitary organization).

All trad routes could be given an `SS' rating depending how they compare to the commonly held standard Simon has encountered in his worldwide travels and by which he practices.

The three ratings are like the star system:

SSS - SUPER SIMON STYLE.. The triple `S' rating is for routes done ground-up with no rap inspection or cleaning, for those first ascensionists who rose to the challenge and took the rock at face value and just climbed it in its natural state, onsight. This is the ultimate style, though naked and solo should rate a SSSS rating - SALUBRIOUS SUPER SIMON STYLE. I can't remember the last time I put up a new route in SSS style, but I think it was some poxy crack up the Gorge.

SS - SIMPLE SIMON STYLE. A double `S' rating is not as super, sensational, stellar or superior as a `SSS' route. Something like `Running On Air' at Mt Anne which Simon and Alex did - a noble attempt at super Simon style, but fell short because of one hang on the crux pitch.

S - SHIT SIMON STYLE. A single `S' rating is for trad routes done in shit style such as rap inspection, cleaning and trundling the line prior to climbing, tantamount to sanitizing the trad experience - you might as well place a bolt.It doesn't matter that the route was led placing gear on lead and flashed without a fall - its still Shit Simon Style. This would include all Gerry's routes on Ben Lomond this summer - absolute shit. As for trad routes on pre-placed gear, or dogging the gear in before redpoint, that is lower than shit; that would be stinking, shocking, substandard shit Simon Style (another category?)

So next time you put up a new trad route consider Simon Style and assess whether your route was super, simple or shit according to what SIMON SAYS.